I just want peace and happiness!!!
Little did I know that it was called #selflove
Do these few words ring a bell?
I recall these words playing in my subconscious over and over like a stuck record.
I have decided to start journaling in a form of a blog to uplift and inspire you to never give up, finding your happy space and starting your journey to becoming a better you.
I hope to change your thoughts in a positive way and help guide you through the process of finding happiness and inner peace.
Let me start off by saying I am no counselor, no psychologist or no psychiatrist. I am just a ordinary woman trying to give the gift of happiness through my experience. I would love to share my journey to contentment. I am not here to name, shame or slander.
Everyone has a different story but when you reach your emergency exit that’s when you realize that you are at the point of giving up. You have tried everything and you just can’t anymore. You live in silence, keeping your thoughts to yourself, tired of abuse, rejection and being hurt over and over again. Living one day at a time and walking around aimlessly like a walking corpse. This is when the fight of contentment really begins.
My emergency exit was when I found myself sitting in my car in the parking lot of a busy shopping complex. At my feet was a box laying, with the emptied blistered tablet sheets. My left hand filled with sleeping pills and in my right hand was a bottle of water. I remember my subconscious saying “what are you doing, where is your faith”. But the overpowering, aggressive, demon-like voice of man was screaming at me. “What the f**k are you waiting for, take it! You want out, so do it!”
That’s exactly what I did. I was tired of the verbal and physical abuse I had enough. I wanted out. I remember my body feeling heavy. I heard him screaming at me “What the f**k, why did you do it” I felt him slapping my face as he tried to keep me awake. I was dizzy felt myself loosing control. At that point I didn’t care and I didn’t even bother to put up a fight. Next thing I knew I’m in a hospital, there was a lady forcing me to drink black liquid. I could not keep my eyes open. Eventually after a few hours I woke up in a hospital bed with a nurse trying to get my attention and he was still there pretending to be so concerned. I felt angry and disappointed that I was alive at that point.
Long story short the hospital referred me to rehabilitation as they felt I needed help to deal with whatever I was going through that got me to the hospital in the first place. I was meant to stay at the clinic for 30 days. On arrival I felt like everyone knew why I was there. I was not allowed to drink from glass or be in possession of a mirror. I was not allowed to be alone. I felt awkward as I was constantly being watched. They wanted to prevent me from slitting my wrists or any other form of suicidal attempt. Within 24 hours of arrival I was released because he called to threaten the staff and due to them feeling threatened, I was collected in the presence of police for their safety.
I was the great pretender for a while. Silently I had to build myself up. No job as I was fired due to him threatening my regional manager of a well-known established branded company where, at that time, I was part of the management team. I don’t want to go into details about the abuse I went through. What I want to bring across is that you can get through it. Abuse comes in different forms. I found mental abuse to be far worse than physical abuse I endured.
Make up or the layered look of clothing could cover the scars of physical abuse but the scar of mental abuse lingers for years.
Only you can heal yourself.
Self-love
Is so important because when positive things change within us automatically positive things will change around us.
It should be a daily practice. (take some timeout for yourself)
The life coach can guide you to the route of the problem. They can only guide you on what you share with them. You are in control of your life and you make the ultimate decision if you choose to stay the victim of circumstances or become the conquer
Today I will leave you with a few questions to trigger your thoughts. You are not obligated to respond to anyone but yourself.
Do you have a support structure or at least one go to person when you feel like giving up?
How strong is your faith?
What do you need to do to face your fear?
Do you know your "WHY" you ultimately want change?
#Don’t
Don’t feel bad to say no. Set boundaries because if you don’t people will take advantage of you. They will use you to their advantage.
Don’t give up on yourself. (Don’t down yourself)
Don’t beat yourself up because you having an off day.
Don’t shift the responsibility. (Own it)
Don’t take everything personally. (It will drain you, let it go)
Don’t be forced to do something you not comfortable doing.
Don’t get caught up in toxic relationships /friendships, negative environments and unpleasant /harsh conversations. (Distance yourself)
Focus on your faith. Anything is possible when you have faith.
Surround yourself with positive people and avoid negative people as much as possible.
Stay focused on being grateful.
Find positivity in every negative obstacle.
Keep manifesting what you want in life.
Keep saying your daily affirmations. (set reminders on your phone if you must)
Live with no expectation. (By doing this you will be less disappointed in life)
Work on building your self-confidence.
Follow you intuition. (if it feels wrong, it probably is)
Have goals and work towards it.
Good nutrition is needed.
Exercise is needed.
Give only if you can afford to not expect it back.
If you made a mistake forgive yourself and focus on improving.
Start today to create your new you.
I would love for you all to get into a positive space. Sometimes we are surrounded by negative people or a toxic environment. My suggestion to you is to start reading motivational books or watch you tube videos on affirmations and anything related to uplift you to get you through the day. Affirmations couple with faith is the best way to start your #selflove journey.
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