I've been through divorces. Hell, I've been through three. I'm not planning to go through it a fourth time. So my husband will be on my level of respect, trust, and understanding, and be able to make choices when it comes to problem-solving.
You should give up on marriage or relationships. You deserve everything your heart desires. It doesn't matter if people judge you. They have the right to their own opinion and you have yours.
Sometimes people come into your life to teach you and mould you into a stronger person for your future partner and soulmate. Sometimes we choose to go back to people from the past because they made us feel safe and loved when we were broken. (safe place)
If that was the case why did they not fight for you?
Remember we need to learn to love ourselves and stop being critical of ourselves. If we love ourselves first then anyone else's love will be extra. Don't fall into the trap of expecting someone to love you more or return the same efforts that you put in. The minute you have an expectation of your partner, you are setting yourself up for failure.
Don't beat yourself up and blame yourself as a relationship takes two people to work at it. Sometimes life is just so busy couples grow apart. They end up not knowing each other at all, especially towards the end they lead completely separate lives. I remember the feeling of loneliness more in my marriage than when I was single.
When I got divorced I felt lost, afraid of the unknown future. I felt hurt and betrayed yet I felt relieved and free, all at the same time. It was a roller-coaster of mixed emotions. I had to find the courage to stand tall.
Courage is when you move through life failure after failure and you still have the determination to push through because you believe in yourself.
We can't control all the situations in our life but we can control the choices we make for the betterment of the current situations and also for our future life goals. We need to stop talking about the past. Even stop talking in the past tense. We need to talk about the now, the present. To make better decisions to build a better future.
We are living in a negative world. As an empath, I have to block myself, off from negativity. I stopped watching television a long time ago due to all the negative news and sad stories that the media shares. When last have you watched the news and heard something wonderful being mentioned?
I'm all for trying till the bitter end before you give up on each other. If you had to go through mental or physical abuse or both as I did, my advice is to get help immediately as this affects you psychologically in the end. The pain stays longer with you. The sooner you get to dig deeper, you will understand why you even chose a partner like this, to begin with.
Speaking to a life coach has helped me to discover so much and how the past, my youth, and the death of my father at a young age have affected my choices in life. Currently, I am more aware of the shortcomings of the partners I chose to be with.
I was now able to make better choices. People are afraid of moving on because they are afraid of repeating the same mistakes and being judged but if you are more aware of making better choices for the future then you have no reason to fear.
Motivation
Try to keep busy, it helps clear the mind and make you feel more productive.
Focus on your goals for the future new you. Baby steps, start focusing on your needs and everything will start falling into place. Work on your self-confidence. Make time for yourself for the things that makes you feel happy. Start going for counseling, it helps you to reset and focus on the way forward.
Don't rush into another relationship before you know your self-worth. Never settle for less. It's very easy to confuse lust for love. Be very careful as you are vulnerable and you can end up being used and end up hurt or hurting someone else.
Message for the guys.
Message for the ladies
My book talks about my journey of healing. Step-by-step guide that discusses subjects that people don't talk about.
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Have a wonderful week ahead filled with happiness, peace of mind, tranquility and faith.
Lots of love and blessings.
Coach Zee
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