What a crazy few years since 2020.
Started off well and then like a tornado Covid-19 came and whipped most of us off our feet.
For some of us, we have been given the gift of time.
With time came introspection for me.
I took this opportunity to figure out my strengths and weaknesses. I needed to process them in order to develop into a stronger better me for the future.
This journey of introspection is sometimes a hard pill to swallow.
Especially when we stand on the outside looking in, seeing the bitterness/ugliness others see.
I had to acknowledge many things that had to be changed before I could start working on becoming a better me, not only for myself but for the people around me.
For the last few years, I have had more off days than on days.
All I wanted to do, was sleep and be alone, no communication was wanted, and I did not want to be amongst family or friends.
I had to identify if I was depressed or just having many off days.
I have attached this link below to give a better understanding of what depression is.
Too often, I have to remind myself of the things I must be grateful for. Just so that I can help motivate myself to carry on, taking it one day at a time.
Growing up as an only child and being reared to be independent taught me nothing but isolation and independence. Also how to cope with being lonely. This is not a good thing because I have the ability to wear my "happy face" mask while I cut out the world that surrounds me when I'm going through my darkest days.
I find that my family or closest friends don't really know the real me.
Some of them don't appreciate me at all. They don't ask my opinion before making decisions that affect everyone including myself.
I feel used and disrespected. It's not right. It's obvious that they did not value me, So I decided to put them aside and start valuing myself.
I realized that they were killing me while I was helping them live their best lives.
I had to post this motivational video that I came across as it helps to keep me going.
Have a wonderful week ahead filled with happiness, peace of mind, tranquility, and faith.
Lots of love and blessings.
Zainab Achmat
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